The ESSENCE Festival of Culture is always a sanctuary for Black women to release, rejoice, and find community, and this year’s Author’s Stage was no exception. Beating the New Orleans heat in the sweet relief of the Convention Center, an eager crowd gathered for a highly anticipated fireside chat with the internet’s favorite storyteller, Reesa Teesa. Hosted by GU Content Editor, Danielle Wright, the panel titled “From Viral To Published” offered a masterclass in radical honesty, self-reckoning, and what it truly means for a Black woman to reclaim their narrative.
We all remember where we were when Reesa Teesa gripped the internet with her legendary 50-part TikTok series Who The F Did I Marry? It was a digital phenomenon that paved the way for a new era of social media story times. However transitioning from a viral smartphone video to the global stage was a whirlwind. “Honestly, the moment I knew it went viral for a, like a crazy amount was probably when you get a phone call from Good Morning America saying, ‘Can you please come on?’ and a phone call from Tamron Hall,” Reesa recalled. “But I knew for sure that this was something different than what I was expecting when I signed with CAA. That was the moment that it was like, okay, we’re on a whole different level than just holding the phone up and telling a story.”
Yet, her highly anticipated upcoming memoir boldly titled What (TF) Do I Do Now?: Reclaiming Myself, One Piece at a Time is far from a recycled version of her TikTok fame. Reesa dropped gems on the crowd, explaining that while her viral series focused on how she was wronged, this book is a mirror held up entirely to herself. “The story on TikTok was me telling you guys, listen, this is what happened to me with my marriage,” she explained. “The book is really explaining how this happened and what I learned from it. It’s one thing for people to say, ‘This person did me dirty.’ It’s another thing to actually say, ‘This was my part in it. This is what I learned from it, and this is how I’m trying to be a better woman versus letting it define who I am.'”
The conversation got beautifully raw when Reesa opened up about the emotional toll of writing such a nakedly authentic book. She didn’t shy away from using the term “pick me,” prompting a sisterly debate with Wright, who gently suggested Reesa was simply a woman in love. However, Reesa stood firm in her truth, defining the behavior on her own terms, “I feel like a pick me is when you’re doing everything you can to get or keep a man. You’re doing everything you can to be everything perfect for this man versus being everything perfect for you.”
At 35, feeling the heavy ticking of her biological clock, she admitted to letting red flags slide because she wanted the ring, the paperwork, and the lifestyle. “I felt as if my phone call to heaven was on hold and it’ll be answered in the order it was received,” she shared. In a society that often tells plus-size Black women they should just be happy with whoever chooses them, Reesa’s refusal to accept that narrative felt like a collective exhale for every woman in the room. “It’s hard to own your stuff when you’re in a society that makes you feel like as a plus-size Black woman, you lucky if somebody wants you and I refuse to believe that,” she stated. “‘Cause we the shit. I don’t know if y’all knew that.”
The heart of the panel centered on the grief we rarely talk about out loud. Reesa touched on the agonizing pain of writing about her miscarriage and the nuanced reality of being childless by circumstance rather than by choice. “Putting that in the book and being open about this is how I felt where I felt like a failure as a woman. I felt like, oh my God, my body let me down,” she shared. It was a moment of profound vulnerability that brought tears and nods of understanding throughout the audience. She directly corrected the internet trolls who labeled her “desperate and dumb,” explaining that she wasn’t foolish. She genuinely believed it was finally her turn for love.
Today, glowing, gorgeous, and sporting a fresh set of braids perfectly styled for the humidity, Reesa Teesa is a vibrant testament to resilience. She revealed she is currently pouring all her energy into the most important relationship of her life- the one with herself. “The relationship that I am working on, the relationship that I choose to be in is the relationship with Reesa,” she told the crowd. “Because I spent so many years trying to be in a relationship, trying to be someone’s wife, trying to, you know, be the mother of children that I completely lost who I am. So I’m making a conscious effort to really embrace my own company.”
Before closing out the stage to sign advanced reader copies and greet a sea of adoring fans, Reesa left the ESSENCE audience with a powerful mantra for anyone navigating their own heartbreak. Just because the dream didn’t look like what you thought it would, you don’t give up on it, “We’re not giving up on the dream. We’re just gonna edit the dream,” she declared. “I refuse under any circumstances to give up on love because I deserve love, you deserve love. You deserve a partner that’s honest, that is emotionally healthy, right? And we deserve that.”
What the F Do I Do Now? hits shelves on August 18th and is available for pre-order everywhere books are sold. For those who need that iconic voice in their ears, Reesa confirmed she’ll be stepping into the booth next week to record the audiobook herself. We will absolutely be listening.
