Joyfulwomen serving healthy vegetarian food in the dining roomfor lunch 
By Kara Stevens ·Updated March 22, 2026 < /> Getting your Trinity Audio player ready… Death and legacy planning rarely enter everyday conversation.
Wills, life insurance policies, medical directives, and funeral arrangements are often postponed until a crisis strikes. However, for many Black women and their allies, these essential conversations are beginning earlier and in unexpected places, shifting estate planning from a silent topic to an act of empowerment and protection.
Across group chats, coffee dates, and late-night phone calls, they are bringing estate planning out of isolation and into the community. This shift matters in a country where most people remain unprepared. Pew Research Center’s report How Americans Are Thinking about Aging finds that only about three in ten Americans have a will or living will, and just one in five have made funeral or burial arrangements. Among African-Americans, the gap is even more pronounced: roughly half say estate planning is “very important,” yet a majority do not have wills or trusts. The consequences are both financial and emotional, as families often turn to crowdfunding platforms like GoFundMe to cover funeral costs — about 125,000 campaigns annually, raising an average of only $2,600, far short of the $6,000–$8,000 typical cost of a funeral.
For women like Fiona Simpson, Lydia Elle, and Taiia Smart Young, planning ahead is about something deeper than paperwork. It’s about removing uncertainty for the people they love—and ensuring that no one has to navigate grief while also trying to guess what comes next.
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For Simpson, an Atlanta-based ally and principal at Smart Girl Media, Smart Young has spent years helping others write obituaries that honor the fullness of a life lived. Too often, she says, tributes reduce a person’s story to a list of dates, jobs, and relatives squeezed into the small space between birth and death. “I’ve seen people try to cram the most mundane details into that dash,” she explains.
When it comes to her own send-off, Smart Young has decided to write the narrative, ensuring her family has everything they need: instructions, photos, an approved guest list, and an obituary outline that reads less like a notice and more like a story. “I’m still an editor,” she notes. “I want to edit this final piece of copy and have it presented in a way that celebrates my life.”
Her vision is vivid. A large photograph—or several—will greet guests. Her favorite music will be playing. The images displayed will capture the spirit of her life. The repast, she says, should feel less like mourning and more like a celebration. “I want people to say she lived a wonderful life. We’re going to play my favorite music because I already have a playlist. We’re going to look at my favorite photos because I’ve already picked them.”
Planning these details now gives new weight to her grandmother’s advice, decades later: as a mother, she understands what it truly means to protect the people you love from unnecessary stress. Smart Young has one son, and she wants his role in those difficult days to be simple—to grieve, to remember, and to follow the plan she has already laid out. “It’s going to remove so much stress for him. There won’t be any heavy lifting of wondering, ‘What would Mom want?’” she explains. Everything he needs to know will already be there—even down to the outfit.
Estate Planning Together is Communal CarePlanning for the end of life is never meant to be done alone. Simpson, Elle, and Smart Young show how leaning on community—friends, family, elders, and trusted confidants—can > The Frugal Feminista and author of heal your relationship with money and Unmasking the Strong Black Woman. Connect with her on LinkedIn.
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